Day Thirty-Four

I didn't make it to the gym today. I spent the evening volunteering for the CCFA and I have to day that I have no regrets about skipping my workout for this opportunity. Committing time and money to the organization has become an increasingly important part of my life. Interacting with individuals who live with IBD is a reminder of all that I have accomplished despite the odds. My twenty-eight birthday is approaching, which means I have lived with this disease for nearly twenty-three years. I have more than lived with it -- I have thrived. And, each day I make food choices and workout choices and life choices that others with IBD aren't able to make. For them, the disease is a real barrier to life and employment.

Tomorrow, I am going to return to my workouts. The pain and frustration that I felt yesterday during training is nothing compared to the fear and doubt that I confront when experiencing a flare or hospitalization. In fact, it is silly to complain about the sweat and tears of a training session when I sat in a hospital bed 16 months ago worrying that I would never return to the comfortable adult life I'd come to take for granted. Volunteering is supposed to be selfless, but for me it is selfish. The commitment I have made to the organization for the next year is driven in part by my commitment to myself to not forget what motivates me to succeed. I want to do everything in my power not to end up back in that hospital bed and I want to know that if -- by chance -- I do, that I pushed myself in the interim months to be everything that my doctors, family, and friends have supported me to be. I owe it to myself and to them.

So, tomorrow I will come as close as possible to reaching my goal. I will follow up my training with a cardio session. I will then begin the next week with my weight tracker, a 350 minute cardio goal, and a renewed sense of commitment -- not just to myself, but to all those individuals who have provided the care and support to help me maintain my health for all of these years.