Week: I Lost Track

Not knowing the current count on the week tells me something. I guess I can count back, but I won't worry about it now. I spoke about going hard in my last post and I have remained true to the game. I prepared a workout plan this week designed to extract the best of what I can accomplish physically at my current performance levels. I paired it with a diet that pays attention to my low residue needs without becoming overly reliant on wheat thins and cookies.

Go Hard or Don't Go

A few words about the danger of low expectations are embedded in my last post and I want to pick up on that and drop in a few lyrics for one of my faithful readers.

I Must Go Hard

so i am, i will , i gots to go
you got another way to live you gots to go hard
i am gettin it in until the end i got to go, go, go , go hard

Yup.

I think my abseentism as late has been fueled by a shift in priorities. The act of blogging and the physical record it produces do not have the same value as six months ago. I no longer need to prove that I can push myself physically, I am not currently experiencing signficant effects of IBD, documentation of my efforts has become less important because I see it in the mirror and feel it everyday.

A lot of long-term diet plans stress the importance of maintenance. The midset of a weight loser is different than that of someone who has alrady accomplished something.

I am going soft right now.

I don't feel the same pressure to prove something to myself and my expectations have suffered.

If you settle for om outcomes, then you eventually begin to adapt your behavior to only pursue ok outcomes.

I have been settling for feeling better, but have stopped short of pushing myself to achieve more.

This begs the questions...why do we do anything if we aren't going to commit to it? And why give ourselves credit for just good enough when you have the potential to great?

So what if I've proven that I can go to the gym and eat select pieces of fruit without getting sick. That might have been okay before but it's just scraping the surface of what I am able to do.

At the end of the day, I am my own worst critic and this can be an advantage. I feel good when I go hard regardless of the outcome. Similarly, I feel fraudulent when I go soft but get recognized for doing something that appears to be me going hard.

It would sound incredibly cheesy to say "cue the beat," but I give myself a pass.

So I am, I will, I gots to go

I Go Hard

My Life as a Tire

So, it is easy to tell from the pattern of my last few blogs (or lack thereof) that I've been missing in action. At risk of repeating myself, I wish I could say that absence doesn't imply a lack of commitment. But, it does.

I haven't been able to stay on plan for more than a few days at a time and am feeling the effects. A lot has changed in six months so the change is different. My eating is mediocre and my exercise is sporadically steady. What exactly does that mean? I think sporadically steady translates as 1-2x a week. The effects? Weight gain, on top of muscle maintenance. And? A growing discontent with what will be a less than spectacular entrance into my spring wardrobe. What happened?

I'm pretty clear that the issue starts and end with giving myself permission to miss workouts. Here are a few leading questions that I have posed to myself in an effort to make analogies to other parts of my life -- it adds a bit of levity to an otherwise frustrating turn of events:

Q1) What happens if you see let an ant or two appear in you kitchen?
Q2) What happens when your boss tells you at the beginning of a project that it is okay to miss a deadline?
Q3) Does adding air every other week improve the performance of a tire?

And my answers:

A1) This is easy. The little dudes run (or do they crawl?) and tell all their friends. It is imperative that you nip these in the bud at the beginning. Likewise, a missed workout or impulsive cookie purchase can quickly become the rule instead of an exception.

I don't want ants in my kitchen.

A2) At first blush, this makes for a great boss. Everyone needs a little relief from pressure sometimes. But, over the long-term, low expectations depress performance. The doctors aren't there to admonish me every few weeks and it is critical that I continue to set expectations for myself.

I am cheating myself when I miss my own deadlines.

A3) Oh yeah, the tire is a classic. Adding air and avoding potholes keeps the tire running, but it will not get better. Eventually you have to drag yourself to Costco, invest in new tires, get irritated when they don't have the exact brand that you want on-hand, and plan to come back for installation later in week.

Lesson here? You can put it off, but eventually you will have to take care of the tire. Short-term fixes (also known as 'fix a flat') are just that.

Bonus lesson? Once you fix the flat, it makes sense to check the wipers, oil, and get a tune-up. This stuff is annoying when it all comes at once. Decidedly less so, when regular maintenance is part of your routine.

So, where does this leave me?

I've been running around like the punctured tire for the past three months. I'm still running and nothing catastrophic has happened. However, I am not improving my performance. I got nip the little ant dudes in the bud and shed the excuses before they mount a full-rebellion against my hard won discipline.

I have high expectations for myself.

Week Ten: I'm Back..and Eating Properly

I'm so excited! I've been eating fruit and veggies for the past few weeks with no problems. Grapes are my new best friend; here's what working for me now:

Breakfast

Greek Yogurt
Protein Cereal

Snack

String Cheese
Kashi Fruit Bar

Lunch

Sashimi Grade Tuna
Blanched Seaweed
Chopped Spinach

Snack

Seedless Red Grapes
SB Bar

Dinner

Small PB Sandwich

Week Ten: I'm Back...and Exercising

I am on schedule for doing what I set out for myself. I was up at 5:30 this morning and at the gym by 6:05. I got in the 35 minutes of cardio intervals and some moderate stretching. I feel great and my mind was incredibly cleaar today. We'll see what happens tomorrow as I plan to work out later in the evening.

Week Ten: I'm Back

Ok, here is what I've got planned for the week:

Monday -- 25 minutes Walking

Tuesday -- 35 minutes Elliptical; 10 minutes Abs

Wednesday -- 45 minutes Bicycle; 15 minutes Lower

Thursday -- 35 minutes Elliptical; 20 minutes Abs/Upper

Friday -- 35 minutes Bicycle; 20 minutes Walking; 10 minutes Abs

Minutes for the Week: 250

Next Week: Back to 350...